Since God often turns the topics I write about into personal life-lessons, it probably wasn’t a good idea to write about the gift of desperation.
Unless, of course, I wanted to learn more about how Jesus steps in, each time I’m sure I can’t finish something. And that’s exactly what happened while I was writing this article.
Again and again.
Sometimes He bailed me out with a brand new thought. Or a fresh surge of faith. But more often, it was timely input from others: wisdom, willingness to share inner struggles, or both!
It all started with a question:
When you’re the only single — for example, all your siblings or co-workers or everyone in your small group is married—how can a young adult handle these situations? What opportunities are there?
First, I turned to other singles for help….and then to married people, for their perspective. By the time I was done, at least forty people on three continents had contributed their thoughts. Many of them poured out their hearts, writing a whole letter about how they feel and what God has been teaching them.
I wish you could read it all — all forty-something pages! Because I think you’d feel as rich and as encouraged as I am to know: we are not alone!
We have more in common than we have to separate us.
Don’t get me wrong: the loneliness is real.
But in lonely seasons, I’ve prayed for friends – and God has answered. Several of the women He sent are young moms, and I’m humbled to tell you that they pursued me. I can’t tell you how many times they have spontaneously broken into prayer for a family in my future. Or how much joy I get from investing in their lives.
Recently, I was the only single girl in a group of young mothers. Instead of the usual glitz and gifts of a baby shower, we were a small group in a low-lit living room, there to pray for Bethany before the birth of her third child.
As I listened to tale after tale of labor and delivery, one woman’s comment implied that motherhood is the rite of passage, that it’s Main Street to maturity. And I felt –
Awe.
Awe at God’s masterful design for turning girls into deep and unselfish women. I understood their labor pains, because He is deepening me. I too have known times of wrenching pain, of no-way-out-but-through, of utter dependence on Him.
Yes, singleness can be a lot like grief. I can’t always predict what will trigger the sadness next. But I can choose my response, separating the pain of my situation from the intent of my friends. I can extend the grace and understanding I want so desperately to receive. I can acknowledge their existence and become aware of their struggles because that’s what Jesus does for me.
Elisabeth Adams 