You may think Christmas is over, but we’ve still got the last (of three Christmases!) showing up on Thursday. That’s one each for Western, Eastern, and Armenian churches.
Clearly, to live abroad — and especially in Jerusalem — is to continually find yourself out of sync with somebody — perhaps even a whole lot of somebodies — and most especially with folks at home.
But feeling left out is not place or time specific. It happens to all of us: travelers and homebodies, singles and marrieds, the childless and parents, rich and poor, the lonely and those who wish they could be alone, for once.
On Christmas Eve, a commenter called E asked me, in essence: how do you make the day special when there’s nothing particularly special happening around you?
How do you feel merry, when you just plain feel…
left out?
I can’t claim to have cracked the code, but here are some things God has very kindly and tenderly taught me:
Yes, there’s a lot you’re missing, but don’t focus on that. Find the things you can’t do at home, and savor them! Find someone else who feels left out, and bless their socks off. (Blessing has a real tendency to ping-pong back and forth repeatedly between giver, recipient, and the Author of giving — so be prepared for unexpected awesomeness).
I’ve learned to choose a few traditions from home, and make them happen — creatively, if need be. At the same time, I’ve learned not to get too fixated on any particular tradition because…if I keep my eyes and heart open, God always, always provides a way to comfort me, help me think about Him, and bring joy into what otherwise could be a very lonely season.
This probably sounds more noble than it really is. There’s no doubt that I have felt wistful and lonely and sad at times, but my memories are predominantly happy.
And the sadness? Oh, the sadness just makes heaven all the more attractive to me — no more being separated by time and space! No more feeling out of sync — because there I’ll be eternally and completely at home.
Meanwhile, the merry treasure hunt of finding God’s grace: right here and right now.
Finding signs of the season (look closely!): at a church and restaurant in Jaffa, in an olive wood creche from Bethlehem, caroling on Christmas Eve, decorations at the New Gate in the Christian Quarter in Old City Jerusalem, winter green as a result of God’s Christmas gift of rain, a not-so-green native evergreen tree gracing a guesthouse, and carols on the organ at the often-somber Church of the Holy Sepulcher.
Elisabeth Adams 