Usually my articles come from questions I’m asking, and experiences I’m living, but this one is different. It was inspired by several requests I encountered over at the Boundless Line.
Please…give us tangible, practical, grab-it-with-your-hands experience on what [we] are doing CORRECTLY. Have the lady writers of Boundless tell of times when the men in their lives got it RIGHT. Some of us men out here are not just role-modeless, we are wounded in this area. If a man has a broken leg, you don’t tell him to ‘man up’ and walk. You get that bone set, then give him physical therapy. And then you delight when he walks again.
What ways did God design men which make you think about how amazing our creator is? What are some of the sterling points of masculinity which stand out to you? We guys hear a lot of criticism about us (quite a bit of it justified), and we hear a lot about our faults and how we need to fight them. It would be EXTREMELY refreshing to hear some plain encouragement or small bit of admiration from a woman’s point of view.
Kelly felt the same way:
I’d like to see an article that builds men up. Often, with all of the “drama” that builds up around finding-a-spouse, and the sometimes-nasty debates that spring up in the comments, it causes me to focus more on the bad qualities of both men and women rather than the good. And so I would like some reminding of why men are wonderful creations of God!
This article was long in coming. I thought, pondered, noticed. I asked other women. I asked men. I prayed, rewrote, and rewrote again. I sent a draft of this article to one man: it made him cry. I mentioned to another what I appreciated about him: he stood visibly taller. As I examined my own attitude and focused on what God had wrought, I was chastened and encouraged.
What is right with men? Oh so much! I’m really, really glad you asked.
Of course, I’m not the only woman who sees God’s handiwork in His sons.
Emily writes: “One thing I have noticed while having a father, two brothers, a husband, two boys, and my best friend in a man; is that as a society we have stripped stereotypes down so that men are just like women and vice-versa. My husband is a deputy sheriff. He is in a line of work where you are tough and hard, but he is one of the most gentle, loving, soft-hearted men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.”
Kristi says, “Probably one of the manliest men I know is my father. Then I married a guy who is not quite as big and brawny, yet possesses the wonderfully masculine qualities I admire.” These include: leadership, decisiveness, hard work, gentleness towards women and children, faithfulness, purity of mind and heart, and strength in body and spirit.
Jo adds three more: “choosing not to withdraw when hurt, being a leader when it would be easier to be passive, providing and fighting even if there’s no thanks.”
When she encounters the biblical directions for marriage, Susie is struck by the enormity of God’s call for husbands:
To be like Christ in loving their wives as He did the church, giving himself for her, nourishing and cherishing her. This is loaded with responsibility and it takes a man to stand up to the challenge. It is wildly heroic in “giving himself for her” and yet so very soft and tender as he “nourishes and cherishes her.”
One of the ways Susie feels most loved: when her husband Alex prays for her, bringing even her smallest needs to God.
Crystal didn’t think she would ever get married. Then through a “chance” blog comment, God brought Derrick to her from the opposite end of the country. Things looked good from the very beginning of their relationship, when she learned that Derrick was respected by his friends and faithful in tithes-paying and church attendance. But she was most encouraged to learn that he ran the sound system every week at church. “That spoke volumes to marriage,” she says. “I wanted someone who could commit forever, not just when he felt like it.”
Now as Derrick’s wife, Crystal continues to see God “infusing His character into Derrick’s. A recent example I noticed is when Derrick stopped calling euphemisms at slow drivers and started saying, ‘God loves you, too!’ Also, I’m not a morning person like he is so when I actually woke up early enough this morning, it thrilled my heart to see Derrick reading the Bible as part of his personal worship.”
As a college student who isn’t yet positioned for marriage, Alyssa appreciates the way her guy friends keep her accountable. “One young man has always been like my other brother. I know that if a girl is struggling with something he will point her back to her father and mother, rather than allowing her to cry on his shoulder – thus protecting her from becoming emotionally attached to him.” She also appreciates “the respect they show by opening the door, or by calling me ma’am, and yet at the same time treating me like I can stand on my own two feet.”
Alysssa’s dad says men often feel the need to be heroes. And in her eyes, that’s exactly what he is: “someone who realizes that God can protect his daughter better than he can and therefore dedicates her to God while still acting as her protector on earth.” How?
“My father constantly comes to me and points my eyes back to Christ.”
Elisabeth Adams 