strange?

Yesterday, I checked in with a loved one I hadn’t talked to in a while. The conversation went: I’m ok; she’s ok. She loves me; I love her. Then she said, “I’m sorry about Israel.” And I teared up a bit. What I hadn’t mentioned, she knew.

Do you clam up on what touches you most deeply? It’s common in my region, in my family, for me. I am silent these days, not from lack of care, but from an overflow of it.

This summer, my friends in Israel had to cancel or majorly alter vacation plans, one disappointment in a long (now almost-year) of suffering. Last summer, their unselfconscious care for my fresh loss was beautiful. I never doubted I would visit them this summer to return the favor, yet I did not. It was, and is, a grief.

A friend said, “I’m sure God has other people who will care for them.” I am certain He does. But aren’t there all times when we want to — and even confidently expect — that we get to be the ones? As an older sister, when I’m disappointed not to meet a sibling’s need, I sometimes tell myself: “I want to help with that. I don’t get to this time.” God is always the answer; only sometimes does He invite me in to what He’s doing.

In addition to deep feeling, I’m also silenced by deep awareness that not everyone sees the Mideast as I do. You may have noticed that I speak, not to everyone, but to those who already care about Israel. I’m not prepared to host arguments, but invite one-on-one discussion for the truly curious. I speak, not as an apologist, but as an intercessor.

To me, being an intercessor means I’m not infatuated with Israel; I love her knowingly. I lived there for years, and I’m aware she has sins, though largely (in my view) not what the world thinks are her sins. And that up-close knowledge produces, not disdain, but sadness and hope and prayer.

I think God has tapped me (just one among many) to be a true friend of a particular nation. Strange that He picked a clam like me? Oh yes! But strategic in its strangeness. (1 Cor 1:27) Would you consider that strangeness a moment?

Here’s what’s really unexpected: An x-ray of my heart would show that I get stuck in my selfish feelings of disappointment: something that does zero good for those I wish I could help. But I believe that x-ray would also show a love that takes in who a person (or nation) is today, and who God is making them to be. It’s not the way I came wired; He is transforming my heart.

Maybe you’re not moved by Israel. Maybe you’re certain my facts and perspective are wrong. I’m not worried about that. But what if? Is there someone God has tapped to love YOU like that? Is there someone He’s tapping you to love?