Elisabeth Adams

Hi, friend. Welcome.

Normally the topic of today’s article is something I’d prefer to talk about in my living room. I’d offer you tea and we’d share what God is up to, knowing one another’s context and having an inkling of one another’s hearts.

So why am I writing publicly about some very personal fears, disappointments and joys? For several reasons:

Because when I sent out a long questionnaire, twenty-four people — many of them friends, but others friends-of-friends whom I’ve yet to meet — generously shared their lives with me.

Because I was surprised at how much encouragement they offered, and I wanted to pass it on: My 12 married friends gave me great hope that God can move anyone – at any age – past the hurdles to marriage. My 12 single friends gave me great confidence that God is at work in my life today.

Because my editor sensed I was holding back — and skillfully pushed me to include myself in this article, taking it to a whole level that I’m very grateful for.

Because, in writing about Transparency for the Sake of Others, Brittany Lee Allen reminded me of 2 Corinthians 1:3-6, which says that the suffering and the comfort God gave me — are for you. And that’s a gift I’m glad to give.

If you’re looking for further encouragement, I highly recommend these resources:

During my season of indecision, I read my friend’s novel Emma and the Reasons (You can read my review here), which is a good companion to another book I read during that time: Kingdom Single by Tony Evans. Despite the fact that I’ve read many books and articles on the topic, these two had something fresh and substantive to say to me. And they had a lot to do with the fact that I began feeling my singleness as a gift in a whole new way. (Yes, I do think that a period of singleness — even when I want to be married — can be A gift, even if it’s not THE biblical “gift of singleness.”)

For a number of years, I’ve been grateful for how Lore Ferguson Wilbert articulates her singleness in such a wise and relatable way. Recently, after living a rich single life into her thirties, she’s begun writing about her new marriage in a way that really helps me visualize and prepare for marriage after 30. 

I’m also very refreshed by the purposeful and trusting path Nancy Leigh DeMoss took to marriage for the first time at 57, and I think you might enjoy reading the entire story, or watching her interview videos.